"Some people believe that holding on and hanging in there are signs of strength. However, there are times in life in which it takes much more strength to just let go."
I read this quote today and it rang so true (so of course, I shared it on all my social media networks!)
So often we think that holding on and not giving in to bullying and other forms of abuse makes us incredibly strong - and it does - up to a certain point. When you get to a point in that situation when you can no longer see why you're still in it and why you've stayed for so long, it's time to leave. Walk away. It's that simple. Okay, it's not always that simple. Walking away from my first marriage was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And I went back and forth so many times in my head. But time is a great healer and I realised it was the best thing I did - for myself, my family and his family. And now, looking back on it, I'm really glad I did it.
I have found myself in another very difficult situation and recently made the decision to walk away. I was sick of biting my tongue, giving in to various forms of bullying, of being made to feel worthless and completely inept. I had forgotten why on earth I had put up with it for so long and knew, without a shadow of a doubt, it was time to leave. To move on, to make a better life, for myself, my family, and now my other half, who has been my total rock and support through this whole thing (along with my poor family and friends who have had to listen to me constantly moan, b*tch and whine!) I found myself becoming a hugely negative person being in the environment I was in and increasingly found myself taking it out on those closest to me (especially my poor fiancé).
There is only so much tongue biting and giving in you can do until you realise it is no longer worth it. It is no longer worth putting up with the abuse and definitely no longer worth staying where you are. If there's one thing I gained from my first marriage, it's the fact that when you hit rock bottom, the only way is up. And having been through what I did then, I realised that nothing would ever be that bad again. No one could or would ever be able to hurt me like that again - I would build a wall so strong, that only those who I wanted to be allowed in, would be allowed in, and that too after very careful consideration. I promised myself to be so tough, that no one could ever disturb my peace of mind again. Perhaps that's why I stuck around this time for so long - perhaps I had been desensitised to it from before, or thought I could handle it better. I did - but I found myself wondering why I (or anyone) should have to put up with it in the first place. I found myself softening - with new people, new experiences coming my way, I wanted to experience it all. And I didn't want to tar everybody with the same brush. I'm glad I gave the benefit of the doubt and glad I went through what I did this time around, to come out stronger than ever on the other side. Because as they say - what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. I won't, however, keep on giving the benefit of the doubt. Because the time has come now to say 'enough is enough. I am better than this and deserve better than this.' You have to learn know your own worth enough to be able to say that and walk away. It's an incredibly difficult thing to do, but I believe the best one for you and your loved ones around you, long term.
The world is huge and there are so many opportunities out there just waiting to be discovered and lived, and life is too short to hold on to things or people who make you utterly miserable; miserable to the point where your own positive judgement is completely clouded and you are no longer able to think straight. So I close with a quote attributed to Mark Twain:
"Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
I read this quote today and it rang so true (so of course, I shared it on all my social media networks!)
So often we think that holding on and not giving in to bullying and other forms of abuse makes us incredibly strong - and it does - up to a certain point. When you get to a point in that situation when you can no longer see why you're still in it and why you've stayed for so long, it's time to leave. Walk away. It's that simple. Okay, it's not always that simple. Walking away from my first marriage was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And I went back and forth so many times in my head. But time is a great healer and I realised it was the best thing I did - for myself, my family and his family. And now, looking back on it, I'm really glad I did it.
I have found myself in another very difficult situation and recently made the decision to walk away. I was sick of biting my tongue, giving in to various forms of bullying, of being made to feel worthless and completely inept. I had forgotten why on earth I had put up with it for so long and knew, without a shadow of a doubt, it was time to leave. To move on, to make a better life, for myself, my family, and now my other half, who has been my total rock and support through this whole thing (along with my poor family and friends who have had to listen to me constantly moan, b*tch and whine!) I found myself becoming a hugely negative person being in the environment I was in and increasingly found myself taking it out on those closest to me (especially my poor fiancé).
There is only so much tongue biting and giving in you can do until you realise it is no longer worth it. It is no longer worth putting up with the abuse and definitely no longer worth staying where you are. If there's one thing I gained from my first marriage, it's the fact that when you hit rock bottom, the only way is up. And having been through what I did then, I realised that nothing would ever be that bad again. No one could or would ever be able to hurt me like that again - I would build a wall so strong, that only those who I wanted to be allowed in, would be allowed in, and that too after very careful consideration. I promised myself to be so tough, that no one could ever disturb my peace of mind again. Perhaps that's why I stuck around this time for so long - perhaps I had been desensitised to it from before, or thought I could handle it better. I did - but I found myself wondering why I (or anyone) should have to put up with it in the first place. I found myself softening - with new people, new experiences coming my way, I wanted to experience it all. And I didn't want to tar everybody with the same brush. I'm glad I gave the benefit of the doubt and glad I went through what I did this time around, to come out stronger than ever on the other side. Because as they say - what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. I won't, however, keep on giving the benefit of the doubt. Because the time has come now to say 'enough is enough. I am better than this and deserve better than this.' You have to learn know your own worth enough to be able to say that and walk away. It's an incredibly difficult thing to do, but I believe the best one for you and your loved ones around you, long term.
The world is huge and there are so many opportunities out there just waiting to be discovered and lived, and life is too short to hold on to things or people who make you utterly miserable; miserable to the point where your own positive judgement is completely clouded and you are no longer able to think straight. So I close with a quote attributed to Mark Twain:
"Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
Wow...that is incredible. Stunning piece
ReplyDeleteThanks honey!
ReplyDelete