Love. et al.

"Love requires three things: Acceptance, Honesty, and Commitment. Love comes when you care more about who the other person really is, rather than about who you think they should become. It’s about daring to reveal yourself honestly, and daring to be open and vulnerable over the long-term. It’s about sticking by each other’s side through thick and thin, and truly being there in the flesh and spirit when you’re needed most." ~ Unknown

There is so much love all around us. Love for our parents, siblings, friends, partners. And most of the time, this love is reciprocated. And even if it isn't, isn't it enough that we're capable of love at all...?

But what about love for ourselves? How much do we really love us? So many of us don't. We're so self depreciating, constantly focusing on our flaws rather than our strengths. On our imperfections rather than perfections. Constantly pointing out to people the things that are wrong with us rather than the things that are right. I know I'm definitely guilty of it! Perhaps we think that if the other person knew everything bad about us in the beginning, it won't be so much of a shock when it comes to light later on. But a lot of the time it puts people off. To suddenly have so many seemingly unattractive qualities thrown at you when you don't even know the person, can be overwhelming. I have a newfound belief that if the other person's love for you is true, regardless of what flaws you have, they will accept and love you for who you are, and not for who they want you to be. Whether they know about it in the beginning or find out later on, should make little or no difference.

Now about the quote. How many of us actually accept ourselves for who we are? And if we can't accept ourselves, how can we possibly expect other people to? Daring to reveal yourself is all well and good - when you're comfortable with who you are. Throwing all your flaws at someone, and expecting them to accept, when you can't do it yourself, seems a little bit unreasonable. And being open and vulnerable is also fine - but when there's a constant fear that you'll get hurt again, that you won't be accepted again - why would you? But when you can't accept your own vulnerability, your own flaws yourself, doesn't it seem slightly hypocritical to expect others - whether they be friends, families, partners - to wholeheartedly embrace them without question?

Learning to love yourself is perhaps one of the most difficult things for someone to do. Acceptance, Honesty and Commitment to yourself should come above and beyond anything else - for I believe once you can do this with yourself, doing this with someone else, whether for a short period of time or for a lifetime, becomes a hell of a lot easier. Stick by yourself, be there for yourself in the flesh and spirit, and doing the same for someone else suddenly seems like a delicious piece of cake you can't get enough of.