Right. So something almost good happened to me today. I say almost because as usual, I got scared and backed off from it. Not because I don't know it's good for me - hell yeah I do - but because I don't trust myself enough to hold on to it and still keep it beautiful. When one's mind is riddled with doubt, self-loathing and fear, it's virtually impossible to grab anything good with two hands. Even one hand. Because you create that aura of defence, of protection around you whenever you feel like you're venturing into the unknown. In my case, it's because I don't trust myself to venture into it and still keep it positive. The easy way out is to run from it and not face it - but surely that would be cowardly on my part...
What do you do when you know something's good for you yet you hold back from it because of an immense lack of trust within yourself? Have you ever felt so scared of ruining something that you've simply run away from it - because it seems like the easier, safer option? The familiar path is easier to tread than the unknown. Everyone knows this, yet there are people who seem to take to the unknown so easily - so confidently. There's also an element of identity in there somewhere. When you don't know who you are yourself anymore, how can you judge what's 'right' and 'wrong' for you? Is it then, better to find yourself first before venturing out into the unknown...? All the confident people, it seems to me, are confident because they know themselves well, know what they want in life and how to get it. But how to get to know yourself? Where do you even start...?
What do you do when you know something's good for you yet you hold back from it because of an immense lack of trust within yourself? Have you ever felt so scared of ruining something that you've simply run away from it - because it seems like the easier, safer option? The familiar path is easier to tread than the unknown. Everyone knows this, yet there are people who seem to take to the unknown so easily - so confidently. There's also an element of identity in there somewhere. When you don't know who you are yourself anymore, how can you judge what's 'right' and 'wrong' for you? Is it then, better to find yourself first before venturing out into the unknown...? All the confident people, it seems to me, are confident because they know themselves well, know what they want in life and how to get it. But how to get to know yourself? Where do you even start...?
Extremely Confuzzled. Completely and utterly!
Follow your heart...
ReplyDeleteHey there...thanks for your comment. So true and I believe it too. I saw a poignant quote on Twitter this morning which I will quote here. I've chaged it a bit to reflect the state of my heart...
ReplyDelete"When our heart is in fear, we respond in one of 2 ways: We either fight or take flight. It's instinct. We can't control it."
The take flight option is out of fear or rejection or even dejection. That is your so called logical mind speaking. Taking the risk in a positive manner is your heart speaking.
ReplyDeleteIf your heart is actually saying no then you know what is being offered to you is not actually a good or safe thing.
Hmmm. I understand your reasoning - makes complete sense. But what do you do when your heart says it's good for you but is also scared at the same time...?
ReplyDeleteDepends on what it is in front of you, who or what is offering or providing it, is it something you want or need (there is a difference between the 2)? Is it really good for you? Ask these questions to your own heart, and if still unsure, just really ask those questions deep within for your supersoul within to guide you. Sometimes meditating on these thoughts for abit does work, you can have a clear conscious later in your decision. Only you really know yourself deep within. But if you have someone like a partner or trust worthy friend, ask them their unbiased opinion, but beware it may be biased in a wierd way.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...I think I'm going to have to figure this one out on my own! The meditating is a good idea - will definitely give it a go. I think speaking to friends/family is great but as you say, they can be biased and so can offer a slightly one-sided view - apart from my best friend who seems to be completely unbiased and non-judgemental! Thank you for your advice, I really appreciate it :)
ReplyDelete