As it says on the tin. How on Earth can you possibly feel as happy as I did last night and then feel so damn angry today?! The human emotion spectrum amazes me - how we can go so suddenly from feeling on such a high, to dropping low in the very next instance!
You're probably wondering why I'm so angry (or maybe you're not!) I found out my worth today, when I was asked to back off from something that I thought I could do a really good job on, only to be given to someone else. And this from a place I have virtually given my life to. I have also been feeling, recently, that I'm not really wanted or trusted as much as everyone else in this place. And I ask - why should I trust you when you don't trust me? How can you possibly ask favours from me when you then don't want me involved in anything you do?
Please don't make me feel involved in something because you feel you have to, or are doing me a favour or feel sorry for me. I am more than capable of going out into the world and making my own way, carving my own path. I don't need you to "give" me stuff to do just because it's convenient for you or you feel you need to make me feel involved. Either involve me fully or don't - none of the half-assed business! I don't need your sympathy or pity, and I certainly now don't feel the need to give so much when I'm so easily pushed to the side and only remembered when you need something doing or want something from me to make your life easier.
And that, my friends, is what I call A Load of Bollocks.
Sorry to hear about the "bollucks" you are facing. Just keep your head up high. A few years ago I had a similar issue with something I gave my time and efforts in full endevour for, but you know what happened after that? another door opened over time and I got some next level experience of happiness from it. Just pluck on as the spirited person you are, in this world you are always going to be challanged and made to feel uncomfortable, it is all a BIG TEST! challange it and pass it!
ReplyDeleteKeep Faith Shruti, I know you have got alot of it within you, so trust your basic instincts, and whatever Devotion that Faith supplements (if its your dancing, work), let it grow! After all, you need Faith(shraddha) to make your Devotion(bhakti) grow.
p.s. I had left a few comments over time but as Anonymous. I will now sign my posts as "Spirit Soul".
Thank you so much for your encouraging words Spirit Soul. I love reading what you have to write every time, it's so insightful and inspiring!
ReplyDelete