Dark thoughts

Night falls,
Darkness descends,
And like clockwork, the thoughts come.
"You're a failure..."
"You're not going to amount to anything in life..."
"Everyone else is better than you. Look at how much better they're all doing."

"You're not smart or intelligent like they are. You don't understand things as well as they do."
"Always has been that way, always will be."
"You're a horrible person."
Dark, damning, dangerous thoughts,
The thoughts of someone so far damaged, so far gone, that it seems impossible to return.
"They'd all be better off without you. You know that."
"Go on - you know you want to."
"It'll make you feel better. It has done in the past. Just a tiny prick, scrape, cut..."
Thoughts, so many thoughts,
Head feels like it's filled with razor sharp rocks,
Chipping away until there's nothing left.
Chipping away at any tiny ounce of self-confidence, self-esteem, self,
That I have left.
Feel angry, frustrated, fed up.

Now the tears come, thick and fast,

Racking, heaving sobs.
I don't want to have to battle with all these thoughts anymore - no energy left.
It's far easier to just let go,
Stop holding on,
Stop fighting back.
Falling into this black hole of oblivion,
Into the depths of despair,
Is bliss.