How many of us strive to be perfect? Perfect within relationships, employment, communities, society (or all of the above)?
I know I have always strived to be perfect. The perfect daughter, partner, wife, employee, sister, friend, and everything else. Being a (not-so-secret-anymore) people pleaser has meant I have always wanted to do well by people, not to mess up and live up to their expectations of being a certain way.
The result? Confusion. About who to be, what to do and how to behave. Having now lived by myself for about a year and a half, I realise how difficult it was to try and be perfect for everyone, to try and live up to everyone's expectations, without really giving much thought to my own. Conforming to certain ideas, trying to fit into so many little boxes, all the while feeling completely lost, knowing it wasn't really what I wanted to do or be but doing it anyway because it would make someone happy. Secretly resenting these people when it was really myself I should have resented for conforming in the first place. Because no one forced me to do it. I could have stood my ground and said 'no'. But I didn't. And there's no one else to blame for that.
I believe true perfection can only be achieved once you break free from conformity and strive to become a perfect version of you, of what you already are; once you free yourself completely from the confines of society and focus on being the best version of yourself that you can possibly be, without worrying about others and what they think and how they feel. It sounds selfish but it really isn't - it isn't like you are expecting them to do the same or to conform to how you want them to be. As long as you aren't doing anything wrong or harming anyone, I don't believe there's anything wrong with it.
So break free. It might take weeks, months or years, but do it anyway. The sense of freedom you'll feel when you finally do it, will be unimaginable. I'm doing it, getting there very slowly, and already feeling the difference.
My parting thought: perfection isn't really perfection unless it comes from within you, and only you.
I know I have always strived to be perfect. The perfect daughter, partner, wife, employee, sister, friend, and everything else. Being a (not-so-secret-anymore) people pleaser has meant I have always wanted to do well by people, not to mess up and live up to their expectations of being a certain way.
The result? Confusion. About who to be, what to do and how to behave. Having now lived by myself for about a year and a half, I realise how difficult it was to try and be perfect for everyone, to try and live up to everyone's expectations, without really giving much thought to my own. Conforming to certain ideas, trying to fit into so many little boxes, all the while feeling completely lost, knowing it wasn't really what I wanted to do or be but doing it anyway because it would make someone happy. Secretly resenting these people when it was really myself I should have resented for conforming in the first place. Because no one forced me to do it. I could have stood my ground and said 'no'. But I didn't. And there's no one else to blame for that.
I believe true perfection can only be achieved once you break free from conformity and strive to become a perfect version of you, of what you already are; once you free yourself completely from the confines of society and focus on being the best version of yourself that you can possibly be, without worrying about others and what they think and how they feel. It sounds selfish but it really isn't - it isn't like you are expecting them to do the same or to conform to how you want them to be. As long as you aren't doing anything wrong or harming anyone, I don't believe there's anything wrong with it.
So break free. It might take weeks, months or years, but do it anyway. The sense of freedom you'll feel when you finally do it, will be unimaginable. I'm doing it, getting there very slowly, and already feeling the difference.
My parting thought: perfection isn't really perfection unless it comes from within you, and only you.
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