Different

I look in the mirror every morning. I see me. Just plain, simple old me. I see dark brown eyes, brunette hair, olive coloured skin. From the outside, I look 'normal' - whatever that is. Inside, however, is a different story. Literally. I'm different. I always have been. Different to most people I know. I think differently, act differently, see things differently. Most of the time I don't fit in. I'm awkward, 'weird', a wallflower. I prefer to sit back and absorb my surroundings rather than jump into conversations and share my side, my opinion.
 

I live in England. I have done now for over 15 years. It should feel like home. It does and it doesn't. I know where everything is, I know how everything works. It's familiar. Yet I don't fit in. My thoughts, values, ideals, come across too 'Indian' sometimes. Different. Different even to the way Indians are here.

But then I go to India. My birthplace. Where my ancestry is. Where my family is. And I'm still different. Too 'English'. Too free, too open, too honest. Actually, come to think of it, that's the case here in England too...!

So where do I fit in? With whom do I fit in? My thoughts, my words, my actions seem so different. Especially my thoughts. I think differently to most people I know. Which is why I suspect they think I'm sort of strange and don't really 'get' me. I have always felt misunderstood. But perhaps that's just me. My difference. Ah well. Indifference is the key methinks. Pun unintended.