I got to thinking about this today. What is closure? And what does it mean to different people?
For me, closure is the end of a chapter; a chapter closed with enough information and valid reasons. Closure for me, means moving on, safe in the knowledge that that part of your life is over and you can move on peacefully and with some contentment.
But what if you never get closure on an issue? What if something suddenly ends, with no explanation, no contact and no reasons? Do the questions keep welling up and do you undeniably keep hoping for the best, even though deep down you know it's over...? My question here is, how do you get over something, when, in your head, it's not yet over because you haven't had the answer/s you need? I fail to understand how someone can not provide closure, especially when things have become serious or intense. In this case, closure is almost owed so someone can finally close the chapter and begin the healing process.
For me, certainly, closure is as important as a first date - it tells you everything you need to know to make that all important decision. In this case, whether to get over and move on, or to wait around just that little bit longer...
For me, closure is the end of a chapter; a chapter closed with enough information and valid reasons. Closure for me, means moving on, safe in the knowledge that that part of your life is over and you can move on peacefully and with some contentment.
But what if you never get closure on an issue? What if something suddenly ends, with no explanation, no contact and no reasons? Do the questions keep welling up and do you undeniably keep hoping for the best, even though deep down you know it's over...? My question here is, how do you get over something, when, in your head, it's not yet over because you haven't had the answer/s you need? I fail to understand how someone can not provide closure, especially when things have become serious or intense. In this case, closure is almost owed so someone can finally close the chapter and begin the healing process.
For me, certainly, closure is as important as a first date - it tells you everything you need to know to make that all important decision. In this case, whether to get over and move on, or to wait around just that little bit longer...
I don’t think you’ll ever be able to comprehend how much you help me.
ReplyDeleteThe writings you post force me to think of things I normally would just shy away from.
I do believe in an explanation for an end. To have a conclusion, with no answers, is no conclusion at all.
To end a relationship without answers for instance, is just cruel.
To have may be been through so much, shared so much, and all of a sudden there is an end without closure, not even given the chance at closing a chapter in your life, stopping the start of an all important healing process is just cruel.
Closure is important, because with closure there is the elimination of an enduring ambiguity.
But what if you have gained closure, there is no more ambiguity, you have all the answers... but moving on still doesn’t ensue. You don’t want it to ensue even. And there is no peace ???
Suffering ???
... All of your own accord ???
It’s strange I only just wrote about ‘moving on’ in my blog yesterday.
I don’t think people should move on, should they?
Well may be never to forget that which you have experienced in your past.
Hi Vipul,
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad I help you. The aim of this blog is to help people with similar problems/experiences, and I always said to myself, if I could help even one person through this, knowingly or unknowingly, I would be happy. Obviously the more people I can help the better, but one is a really good start!
Here's something a friend of mine sent over to me that I think you might find useful:
"Letting go doesn't mean giving up. It means moving on. It is one of the hardest things a person can do. Starting at birth, we grasp on to anything we can get our hands on and hold on as if we will cease to exist when we let go. We feel that letting go is quitting, giving up and that, as we all know, is cowardly. But as we grow older, we are forced to change our way of thinking. We are forced to realise that letting go means accepting things that cannot be. It means maturing and moving on, no matter how hard you have to fight yourself to do so."
A very poignant thought for anyone wanting to move on but can't seem to let go. Time is a great healer Vipul - people should move on for their own health and sanity, their own well being. What are the scars of the past worth? Are they worth jeopardising your future over? I firmly believe that if it's meant to be, it'll come back to you - if it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with.
I hope that helps. Your past will always remain your past - but is it really worth stagnating your future for...?