As the title suggests. Furious with myself for lashing out today. If other people want to act like children, that's their prerogative, it makes them look like t*ts. I believe very strongly in one thing: "Be the bigger person". It's almost my mantra in life and has gotten me through many a difficult time. But recently, and especially today, I've been sniping back. And I know for one I can be vicious when it comes to my words, which is why I tend to turn things into a joke or not say anything at all...or fume under my breath so no one can hear!
But there's only so much someone can take. As I also always say, if you constantly poke at a monkey with a stick, no matter how friendly it might be to begin with, eventually it will retaliate. And that's what I seem to be doing recently. I am in no way saying it's the right thing to do, I'm just saying that if you keep p*****g me off, eventually I'll retaliate. And when I do - God help y'all!
But hopefully that will never happen again. I may always keep my cool. Or, if someone repeatedly annoys me, may give back as good as I get. As I always say: "Be the bigger person - but if someone consistently hits at you, hit them twice as hard in a place that will hurt twice as much."
Either that or "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Take your pick.
But there's only so much someone can take. As I also always say, if you constantly poke at a monkey with a stick, no matter how friendly it might be to begin with, eventually it will retaliate. And that's what I seem to be doing recently. I am in no way saying it's the right thing to do, I'm just saying that if you keep p*****g me off, eventually I'll retaliate. And when I do - God help y'all!
But hopefully that will never happen again. I may always keep my cool. Or, if someone repeatedly annoys me, may give back as good as I get. As I always say: "Be the bigger person - but if someone consistently hits at you, hit them twice as hard in a place that will hurt twice as much."
Either that or "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Take your pick.
Insomnia strikes...and why am I not surprised that I find myself back at your blog. Lol
ReplyDeleteI’m always so amazed by what you have to say.
To help you understand...
I too am criticised and ‘judged’. Often I find myself biting my tongue, walking away, or attempting to swiftly change the subject. I’m an ever so patient individual, but some people just keep pushing and pushing, WANTING to generate a reaction from you.
Eventually, if I am pushed enough I do snap.
I don’t know how to retaliate like most.
I don’t know how to criticise ‘nicely’. Because when are criticisms and judgements made in a nice nature?
I am vicious, relentless, unforgiving. Here’s the funny part...I then get blamed for taking things too far!
(rolling my eyes)
However, because I am so vicious with my retorts (and because I am me), the moment I’ve said them, I am filled with an immense measure of guilt :(
It’s awful, and I don’t want to feel this, because they deserved that which came to them right?
But, why do I feel so bad about it?!
And immediately wish I never said anything at all.
So what’s the more worst feeling.
Being judged and criticised, and accepting it all on the chin, watching your confidence and self respect collapse in front of your eyes,
Or,
Being the relentless, unforgiving executioner, only for your entire self to be filled with so much guilt and remorse after.
That’s why I say, YES, solitude does sometimes feel as though it’s the answer.
In solitude, there is no need for such a choice to be made.
In solitude, there being no one to judge or criticise, there’s just YOU :)
Why is so much of what you do, and what you say, not so dissimilar to me!
Ahh, thanks Vipul, I am very flattered!
ReplyDeleteI know, our thoughts seem to match exactly, which is mad!!
I know what you mean about the guilt thing - I used to be exactly the same. Now I just think of all thie sh**e I've been through and think f**k it, I deserve this - no one has the right to make me feel this way or even try to.
The only reason I wrote this post, was not because I felt guilty, but because I was annoyed at myself for letting my guard down, showing vulnerability and annoyance when I'm so used to keeping a mask on...
I hope you're well otherwise. I'll bet none of your other patiens are as fussy as me, lol!
I know. I know it was all about frustration with yourself.
ReplyDeleteI know you try so hard with this ‘mask’, not wanting to let it down for anyone, and the frustration came from the fact someone was able to say or do something, which caused you to lose your composure.
They don’t deserve to see the real ‘you’.
And, I really want to lie now, but I can’t...
You may quite well be the most fussiest patient I’ve ever come across, with your ‘fussy tooth syndrome’. (oh my God, I can’t stop laughing. LMAO)
Nonetheless, it will be an absolute joy to see you again, at your next check-up appointment.
I will always happily help (never judging) with whatever teeth concerns you may have :)
Yes exactly! They're not that important!
ReplyDeleteHaha yes, my fussy tooth syndrome - and I'm STILL not happy with my teeth - oh dear...
Ahhh, thanks :) you may regret saying this later on and want to eat your words though, I warn ya!